A real take me away from it all

Good morning, good morning and good morning!
As you might guess, I have returned once again from dispensing my energies on the sports field and am (as of writing) still alive and capable of thinking and typing.

The news this week is yet another total abandonment of logic, to such an extent that you have to wonder if there is a fundamental flaw in mankind that drags us to perdition. We just have to stand back and look at our own lives for confirmation. 
But less of that existential introspection, on with the real news!!

Let’s change continents and look at Australia and see what there is to cure you of any desire to actually go there.

Australia’s collection of «fuckers to be avoided» has a new entry. Just when you thought that the deadly snakes, the man-eating crocodiles and the poisonous jellyfish and the sharks would be enough for any corner of the Earth, in comes Hermie the huntsman spider. This «fucker to be avoided» is not just huge, it is strong enough to carry an adult mouse up the side of a fridge. There is a video and you can google it yourselves, but I watched it and…. Christ!
I would have moved out of the house naked and sent in a SWAT team with flame throwers. The house owner filmed the thing and put it on line. Yes, in a house in Queensland.
I include a still from the video:

How’s that for a «holy fuck!!!!» moment?

Meanwhile, police in Western Australia, another part of that hostile environment, sent their equivalent of a domestic SWAT team to a house following an emergency call. A person walking outside a house in Perth heard a toddler screaming and a man repeatedly shouting “Why don’t you die?”
The team arrived and immediately broke into the house only to find a man “trying to kill a spider”, who then apologised (as expected with guns being pointed at him) for having an extreme fear of spiders. The police report stated “No injuries sighted (except to spider). No further police involvement required”.
In 2015, a similar incident occurred in Sydney when police were called to a house to find a “quite embarrassed” man throwing furniture at a spider, alone.
What type of spider was this one?
Who wants to live there?

Public health is becoming prominent and the doctors and researchers in the fat countries (i.e. all English speaking countries) have been complaining again. It seems that the average 10-year-old has already consumed as much sugar in their lifetime as the recommended limit for an 18-year-old. They say that this has serious implications for obesity and health.
Well, who would have guessed it?
In all these countries, at least one-third of children are overweight or obese at the age of 10 and 4.2% are severely obese at 14. They then add that obese children often become obese adults, at risk of heart attacks, strokes and type 2 diabetes.
Ya don’t say!
I see it as the only remaining way that parents have to keep their offspring quiet now that you can’t punch the little bastards in the face any more.

Fortunately beer is a liquid and has no sugar.

An official British ministerial document about Brexit last week, that’s last week, December 2018, stated that «fishing fleets are often to be found close to the coast».
Who knew????
Seriously, who knew?
Fuck me… does that mean that there are fish in the sea?
An official document.
My Christ! The level of education is supposedly lower in Andalusia compared to the rest of Spain, but the level of «education» in the UK is so shockingly low that you would not believe what they are incapable of understanding.

I have listened to the opinion shows on the radio and while I didn’t comprehend how they got to this point, I do now. This is Europe, after a thousand yours of advancing history, after the invention of formal education, the printing press, communication, ease of travel, knowledge of others, and then even after two world wars in the past 100 years, and one of the oldest states only produces arrogant ignorance.
I do not know the answer to this and I am starting to feel like some rational Germans in the 1930s. They saw what was happening and didn’t quite believe what was going to happen. They could not really accept that the path they were being lead onto was a possibility. Then it was too late and in despair, they tried to leave and could not. Normal people who were witnesses and who eventually became the first victims must have never quite understood what the hell was going on. 

The fall-out from last weeks ministerial decision («We looked very carefully at the ferry firm») in the UK to give a 14 million pound contract to a bunch of (Conservative) businessmen to run a ferry company continues.  You have to feel sorry for the minister (who championed Brexit from the start) when some official handed him a map and pointed out to him that the UK is an island and that things like food and medicine come there via aeroplanes and big boats. «Oh shite!» he must have thought, «we need more big aeroplanes and boats». So the minister takes charge. This is a guy who you would closely supervise if he picked up a scissors and attempted to use them. And he takes the decision to award a £14m contract to a ferry company that has no ferries. no experience, no harbour that can take big ferries, no staff, no plans, no nothing… except for £14m and a website and on that website there is a description of its «terms and conditions». This is a legal requirement. You would think it would be fairly simple to set this type of document out, wouldn’t you?
Well, no!
The stated terms and conditions were copied and pasted from a …. pizza delivery site…. without any modification.
And no, I repeat this every week, I am not making this stuff up.
A random journalist used a service inaccessible to government, apparently, known as “a five-second Google search” and found the documents officially filed and then made another search to find the exact same document listed under «Papa John’s Pizza». Well, they have something in common: neither of them know how to run a ferry company.
Some quotes are given by the journalists from teh Seabourne Ferries site (not the pizza one)… can you tell the diffierence?
“It is the responsibility of the customer to thoroughly check the supplied goods before agreeing to pay for any meal/order,”
“Delivery charges are calculated per order and based on [delivery details here].”
“Users are prohibited from making false orders through our website.”
“Seaborne Freight (UK) Limited reserves the right to seek compensation through legal action for any losses incurred as the result of hoax delivery requests and will prosecute to the full extent of the law,”
Quite incredible!

In another surprising report, thirteen people applied online to divorce their partners on Christmas Day, according to UK government figures.
During the period between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day, 455 applications were lodged in England and Wales, the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) said.
The first full week of the new year is one of the busiest periods for initiating divorce proceedings, as unhappy couples, having failed to resolve their differences over Christmas, resort to specialist lawyers.
Your initial reactions would be
How bad was the cooking?
Was it the poor choice of presents?
My reaction is … you can do this online?????????????

Meanwhile in America… and the shut-down of the administration by the Orange Shit Gibbon because they won’t give him the billions to build his wall to keep a few immigrantsout. In the big parks there are few rangers and no administratives resulting in services being closed.
The latest report says that «Human feces, overflowing garbage, illegal off-roading, fights over camping spots and other damaging behavior in fragile areas are beginning to overwhelm the American west’s most popular national parks».
The parks remain open with no staff.
Some rangers have complained to the media that it can only be traumatising for the animals to have to witness humans using the parks green spaces as toilets.
As if these animals would… could…. what do the animals do?
Besides, I expect that apart from not caring if humans crap on the grass, the animals have seen worse and not been traumatised.

Speaking of worse… I would love to be able to watch the male staff at the Hacienda HealthCare facility in Phoenix, Arizona.
A woman who has been in a vegetative state for at least a decade at this private healthcare facility gave birth to a healthy boy last week.
The police have been called in to investigate, obviously and will start with a DNA sampling of all the men working there. This comatose woman has no relatives or visitors and so…. you can guess; 
None of the staff were aware that she was pregnant until she was pretty much giving birth.
Well, one male member of staff must be starting to sweat a lot and be thinking about sudden holidays in Brazil.

And before I go back to recovering from the sport, here is the picture of that Huntsman spider again. It still freaks me out.

Pluga el cielo derramar sobre vosotros sus bendiciones!

Your Sunday friend

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