Travel writers just can’t avoid getting things wrong sometimes.
However, what are the chances of one (or three!!) of them getting almost everything wrong?
Over tea this morning at 7am, I came across this article in the Guardian newspaper, a serious organ, if you will allow me the pun after recent series of non-erotic images of the human body…. (which begs the important question… when do we get «Me and my arse»?)
Several things jumped out at me as I read the travel guide to Sevilla, because that’s what it is. Seriously, you have to read it yourselves, just so that you can see what others say about your town.
But just in case you don’t have the time right now, I will list some of the most awful comments… Oh, and before you think this is the work of visiting ‘guiris’, it isn’t. This was written by a ‘guiri’ living in Sevilla along with two local Sevillanos. Hard to believe that someone isn’t taking the piss.
Calle Feria features too much so we can guess what type of people did the writing.
The first «top tip» is the Viscaino, a bar much frequented in the distant past by Felix (and me while living nearby) over the years. It starts with the description of it being a «classic Sevillano watering hole visited by fedora-wearing veterans and hipsters». I have walked down that street many times over the past 33 years and not once have I seen anyone wearing a fedora. A fedora? In what century? Is this like the article about bring fried fish into Pepe’s for all to eat? A momumental pisstake!
The authors write about the famous vermouth served there. I think they only serve it to gays. Everyone else is drinking beer or fino. It certainly isn’t vermouth.
«Traders and punters drink vermouth (and beer) and crunch olives.»Crunch? Olives?
Take the fucking stone out, you fool! You’re not supposed to eat the stone!
«Waiters chalk up tabs on the bar top, while the odd confused guiri (tourist) looks on in bewilderment»Not the only ones bewildered by the description.
The Guadalquivir riverside is next… and the ‘jardines del Guadalguivir’… during which visit you can
«Wander its mazes, lily ponds and avenues of orange trees, before moseying back to Triana for cold beer and churros.»
Who, on this God’s Earth, has chorros with their beer? Or beer with their churros?
That’s how it reads, folks.
Christ!!Of course, after that you can «Take your spoils across the bridge to the warm golden flagstones opposite Calle Betis to watch the sunset.»
Seriously? I mean, seriously???
I have passed by the «bici» and I have seen the clientelle. Not for me, thank you! but it it is your idea of a buzz….
skip the next terndy visits and go to the Parque Maria Luisa… if you
look at the image of Plaza de Espana, you might notice the colour of the
reflections in the water. It really doesn’t match the surroundings.
Some terrible photoshopping there, then.
As for having picnics in the park… never seen that either.
«Los Pajaritos (“the little birds”) …….. This family-run, ….. since 1970, etc. Don’t be put off by the
stern-looking bartenders; in kindly broken English they will soon make
you feel like a regular.»Yeah, like a regular… That’ll be 45€ for the three beers please!
The Bodega Santa Cruz is included in the list and look at the image of the bar. I recognise the camarero… he used to work in Dos de Mayo (or the version in Alfalfa).
As for vegan food… and what exactly is a vegan breakfast? Tostada and coffee?
Can you imagine going to a vegan restaurant? As joyless an evening as the probable company.
Here’s the link:
Further blessings on you allf