A long reel of news with a picture

Hello, and let’s get the truly gruesome out of the way first. I really have to start with this…
The picture you see has to be the most misguided «tribute» in the history of man since the Grand Inquisition attempted to offer «tribute» to God by torturing people.
The travel company TUI refunded a couple for their holiday after hotel staff in Jamaica left an effigy of their dead son in their room as a «tribute».  Faye and Andrew Stephens, from Willesden (U.K.), made it a tradition to mark the birthday of their son. Alex Stephens, who died after falling from a balcony while on holiday in Spain in 2014 with a cake and a quiet moment of reflexion. He was 22. All very sad and normal, you say.
The dead lad’s  godmother who was on holiday with the couple, asked the hotel staff (this is at a five-star hotel!!!) to surprise them with a cake in their bedroom to mark the day.
So far, so good, what could go wrong?
Basically, everything!!
To make an even better tribute to the couple on the birthday of their dead son, the hotel workers created an Alex life size figure by stuffing the couple’s clothes with towels and arranging it on the bed. The figure had tears on its face and a can of lager in its hand and was positioned next to petals spelling out: “We miss you Alex.”
It looks like a zombie from a crap z-list film.
And a can of fucking lager??????
Now that’s the cherry on the cake, seriously.

You don’t have to use much imagination to picture the reaction of the couple as they went into the room with the dummy body on the bed,
To steal a quote from Oscar Wilde, you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh.
As for the travel company and hotel directors… how do you put a positive spin on this special disaster? I would have loved to be in that meeting.

Speaking of travel and travel agencies, did you kow that there is such a thing as Dark Tourism?
These are run by agencies that will take you and your group (stag parties before weddings, birthday weekends, weddings themselves and other various assemblies) to disaster zones. You can visit (up close with your Geiger counter) Chernobyl, the most radioactive place on the planet, famous (recent) battle fields (hopefully with the dead removed but maybe with dummy body tributes, see above), former prison camps where many died, you can take boat trips to gawp at the wreck of Costa Concordia off the coast of Tuscany, and tourists in New Orleans were briefly encouraged to see the districts worst hit by Hurricane Katrina up to a year or two ago. You can even get into the crowd during visits to the poorest slums in Mumbai, Rio and South Africa, However, the organisers do warn you that you might be lynched, though the possibilities are remote.
Who on Earth does that as a celebratory holiday?
God, I need a drink…
that’ll be a gin and tonic… or rather, no it won’t.
Flavoured gin, pink gin, with fruit, … is the new drink of the stupid classes… It is now all the rage. I can see in the eye of my imagination the face of Pepe upon being asked for a pink gin.. or a strawberry one… How close would he have finally come to simply punching a client? The thing I see is that none of these new gins taste like juniper.
Personally, I have always thought that the alcohol bit in gin is fine, it’s just the other 60% or so of it – a nasty medicinal-flavoured horribleness – that spoils it.
In one strange period of my life, I thought gin was good for when I was on a diet (the alcohol was only to to keep me sane), while the absence of the usual beers and wines helped me lose weight. When I saw it didn’t work as a diet strategy, I just added the beer and wine again. My doctor had strong words with me about it (thanks to my own son Maximilian explaining to the doctor how much I drank at the time. «Shut up! you little fuck!»).

Sorry, I digress… I was forgetting the actual news. George Bush senior died. My take on his life is distilled into the one Simpsons episode in which he appeared. He played it really well and you couldn’t help but laugh when he and Ned Flanders became friends. World leaders flew in from everywhere to pay tribute (that word again implies a punch line) and one news commentator was heard to say: “It’s nice to have something positive to focus on that doesn’t involve dead Iraqis, false tax promises or a broken economy. Honestly, I wonder how many people would be here if it wasn’t for George’s fantastic performance in The Simpsons.”
Why do I find that to be closer to reality than I should?

Let’s stick with the departed…
The personal possessions of Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy magazine who died in September 2017 (you remember him, lads, eh?), went up for auction over the weekend and the item that brought the highest price was his typewriter.Two questions…
Why did this guy have a typewriter?
If this got the highest price, what sort of other crap were they selling?

In Spain, Lucio Ballesteros, an 87-year-old writer, musician and YouTuber from Montoedo, has built a flying saucer, or, comic book space craft.
This end of life work is 20m in diameter and weighs over a ton. Even more weirdly, this genuine nut job will have a documentary made about him by Xoel Méndez.
Ballesteros estimates he’s spent more than 100,000 euros building the spaceship out of aluminum and methacrylate, according to the Spanish newspaper El Pais.
Who said that El Pais doesn’t have its finger on the very pulse of world news?
I did, for a start.
In a minor set-back, the lunatic said that the craft won’t be operational until he installs some motors, and he doesn’t imagine it will be used until sometime far in the future. In an interview with yet another Spanish newspaper El Ideal Gallego (now printed with indelible ink so that it can be put to good use in every toilet in Galicia) he said that humanity will have to “evolve psychically and spiritually” before people can figure out how the technology that powers the craft works.
Have they closed all the phychiatric hospitals in Spain or what?
Someday, Ballesteros hopes the ship will be used to travel to “10/7,” a planet that comes from a series of novels written by ― you guessed it ― Ballesteros himself. He has a website and is, incredibly, mixing with the general public.

You had elections in Andalucia, so, after reading the next piece of news, I scream: «Quick! Vote Vox!!! This type of thing has to stop.»»For the first time in the history of the Miss Universe pageant, a transgender woman will compete for the crown.»
That’s what it says in the newspaper.
We are talking about Angela Ponce, 26, who won Spain’s Miss Universe competition last June, beating 22 other contestants.
Okay, I am a bit late with this but I only saw a reference to the article last week and decided to read more.
Ponce, who lives in Sevilla, Spain, will compete in the worldwide Miss Universe contest set in the Philippines in December.
Duterte will have him shot.
However, Sevilla? Be careful who you chat up in that town.
But let’s be reasonable for an instant… there is no such thing as a transgender woman. That is a biological impossibility. Gender is clearly and medically defined by the presence of the physionomy of reproductive organs.
Removing the penis and testicles doesn’t make a woman of a man. It makes a man into a eunuch.
With fake tits.
Or, as one would say in Dublin… «Transgender? Me bollix!!»
At this rate, the Boxer rebellion in China in 1899 would be given a new and unacceptably interesting interpretation.
It doesn’t bare thinking about.
This would never have happened under the Generalissimo.
Go on! One of you deny this!Looking back at the almost imperial Spain under the General, you had fine southern beauties, women like the duquesa de Alba and … oh!
Well, if that is what Spain has to offer as a «woman», I am leaving for Portugal. Those real hairy women need real men.I just saw that there are anti-fascist demonstrations in Cadiz… against Vox… who got lots of votes in Cadiz… It should be noted that the eunuch with fake tits above was apparently Miss Cadiz.
I am sure there is a connection.

The detachment of the fools and the ones in yellow. More news from the French front….
During the week on French television a parliamentary deputy was complaining about the cost of food. He actually said that he could barely afford pasta at the end of each month… having less than 4000€ in the bank.
I saw the repeat of this on the internet and he actually said that.
While my colleagues in the university department were outraged the next day at his detachment from real life and how dare he complain with so much money, I could only ask one question… where is he buying his pasta?
And how are they getting away with selling it at that price?

Okay, time to move to the Brexit. Let’s play a game. Here is a quote… please try to guess who said it or even who might have said it.
The answer is in a short email just after this one so you can’t cheat by looking at the end of this message.
«It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying.»

In essence, the biggest and most outrageous lie will almost always be believed because people wouldn’t imagine that something so gross would be fed to them as truth.
So, Brexit…
First, the public. I heard some guy on BBC radio complaining that the British needed to get out of the EU because .. he had travelled and lived in Spain, and everything was better there, trains , roads, housing, hospitals, food etc.
I honestly thought that I had misheard him and that he wanted to remain and not leave the EU so I listened more carefully as he continued with his argument. I copied this down immediately so that I would be able to repeat his words exactly and this is what he said, quote: «Spain is obviously doing well out of the EU as a result of all the money «we» put into it.» So it is the British who have built modern Spain?
The mind numbing stupidity of some people still shocks me. And this guy is NOT in a minority.

This is summed up succinctly and clearly by a newspaper journalist who wrote:
Brexiters are the kind of people who say ‘and that’s a fact’ when it’s actually a load of absolute bollocks.
You can sense his frustration.

And now to the members of parliament… the Indian immigrant and Conservative politician, a disgraced ex-minister who was summarily fired for being a liar and corrupt, Priti Patel (how English can you get?) has seriously suggested that the British government should demand a better deal from Europe and if they don’t, then the British should starve out Ireland.
Jesus H Christ!!!!!!!!!!!
A suggested famine? In Ireland? Caused by the British?
A history book might help her, but really it wouldn’t. She is a complete racist and clearly considers that the Irish are lower than animals.
Furthermore, if you google her image, you will see that she has never had a problem personally sourcing food in large quantities and disposing of it internally. I think she is useful for reminding everyone of Gibralter, the rock. Not for political reasons, but because of the huge size of her arse.
To be fair, many people in England are outraged by her comments, but she is a part of the Tory party and was a minister until 6 months ago.
But it is very unfair to accuse Priti Patel of being intelligent.
In the embarassing rush to find new friends and make new trade deals with other markets, the Brits finally have a new one… Minister Jeremy Hunt is
«delighted to announce that UK will open new Embassy in the Maldives. Over 100,000 British people visit every year & this will help our countries to work together even more closely. Proud to continue the biggest expansion of foreign office’s diplomatic network for a generation»
This is one of the places that is specifically marked as likely to be completely submerged within 30 years due to climate change.
Can they get anything right?

That’s it, I am leaving for Portugal now.
Love and blessings on the lot of you!
And welcome to the nonsense, Ana!

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